After a late night and my brain being wired to wake up at 5am (too bad MS doesn’t short circuit that wire, sleep ins would be nice). I was exhausted and still in pain from the damage done to my stomach from the drugs.
After lying in bed for hours reading I decided I needed to go grocery shopping.
I got the groceries, I pushed the trolley back to the car. I even returned the trolley to the trolley return.
I got home and just sat in the car thinking how the f#%k am I going to get the groceries out of the car?
I sent my friend a message, she too also lives with MS.
I sat there. Looking at how far I had to carry them. It’s not really far at all, it’s more the fact that my right side is weak I can’t carry as much. So the thought of having to do multiple trips was exhausting thinking about it.
I got the groceries inside not having the energy to put them on the table, I dumped them on the floor and sat there crying because now I had to put them away.
It’s really tough trying to navigate through what my limits are and coming to terms with the ‘new me’. MS sucks one day you can do something and the next you can’t.
I think perhaps if I didn’t go out the previous night the next day may not have been so hard. It’s like when you have MS everything you do comes at a cost, physical and emotional.
So from now on I’ll be getting home delivery.